Disaster Preparedness Project 04/28/07
This is a simulated emergency. This is a drill. A simulated individual is trapped within a collapsed simulated structure. We have a report of smoke rising from structure. It is unclear whether smoke is simulated or real. Repeat, status of smoke unconfirmed. Do you copy?
Simulated individual is singing. Repeat, singing. We believe the song to be a showtune, possibly early Gershwin. This is a drill.
Simulated individual is uncertain whether collapsed structure is physical or a figment of individual's bored and sleep-deprived brain. Simulated individual has been told that structural collapse is inevitable even if simulated. Team is uncertain whether structure collapse is current or imminent. Repeat, team uncertain of temporal placement of simulated structure collapse. Do you copy?
This is Red Team notifying Blue Team that simulated individual is agitated in a possibly simulated way. Simulated individual lay awake last night awaiting structure collapse. Simulated individual dozed and dreamed of real emergencies. Simulated individual awoke torn between fear and relief. Simulated individual resorted to unquestionably genuine self-abuse. We have a possible source for smoke. Repeat, a possible source for smoke.Technical team has been dispatched to ascertain temporal status of structural collapse. Technical team is entering structure. Alert all stations: technical team fears imminent structural collapse, possibly simulated, but technical team is taking no chances. Technical team is going to lunch. Can technical team bring you anything? Maybe a cheeseburger and a Coke? Medium rare, right?
Alert all teams: focal point of structural collapse indeterminate, possibly bone, possibly brain. No personnel are to enter structure. No, we have no address, stupid, this is a simulated structure. Repeat, no personnel are to enter structure. Simulated individual is so fucking tough, let her figure it out for herself.
Alert! Alert! Smoke has increased. Visibility poor. Smoke may not in fact be smoke. Junior here says it smells like plaster dust. Junior, are you sure? Damn, I can't see a fucking thing.
This is a simulated emergency. This is a drill. Repeat, this is a drill. Do you copy?
Simulated individual remains within simulated collapsing structure. Simulated individual is open to other options. Lots of luck, simulated individual. Simulated individual dreams it all backwards. Simulated individual is taller and thinner. Simulated individual is practicing writing her name in different ways. Cancel alert. Repeat, cancel alert. Individual may or may not be simulated. Do you copy?
Smoke appears to be dreams of possibly simulated individual. Smoke appears to be sound of individual's name broken down into vibrating molecules. Smoke appears to be individual's bones, ground to powder, drifting. Smoke is dissipating. Smoke is gone. Repeat, smoke is gone.
This has been a test. Had this been a genuine emergency, you would have been asked to give a damn. Did someone say something about a cheeseburger? Do you copy? Do you copy?
